The A-Bomb

“Tell me what you don’t like about yourself.”

25. Dr. Christian Troy

Nip/Tuck

I’ve just recently finished the first four seasons of this show, and I’m hooked. Hooked enough for Dr. Christian Troy to sneak his way onto this list I’ve been working on for months. While the character starts out as a sex addicted misogynist and a bit of an asshole, his character definitely seems to grow and become less of an ass and more of a tragic character.

Also he is very pretty.

Best Moment: This whole show is filled with great moments. Best I’ve seen so far is when he confronts a priest that molested young boys after he conned the doctors into removing an incriminating birthmark.

“I’ll go anywhere with you…as long as I don’t have to cook.”

24. Michelle Dessler

24

There are very few likable female characters on this show, unfortunately. Kim Bauer, Jack’s daughter, was one of the worst parts of the show, both due to her character itself as well as the numerous terrible subplots she was involved in (cougar attack! oh no!). Luckily, in the second season Michelle Dessler was introduced and she quickly became one of the best characters on the show.

Not only was she beautiful but she was intelligent, one might say one of the more intelligent characters in the testosterone fueled CTU office. While most characters always thought Jack had gone rogue/evil/crazy again, she kept a level head and understood what he was doing, then proceeded to help him protect the world (Los Angeles).

Best Moment: Finally getting it on with Tony Almeida, another awesome character from the same show.

“How was sexual intercourse with my girlfriend Stephen?”

23. Eric

Undeclared

Oh, Eric. He was hinted at and shown in pictures in the first few episodes of Undeclared but didn’t appear in person until the third or fourth episode. He is played as such a douchebag that you can’t help but love and hate at the same time. For example when he’s walking around in his underwear post sex with his girlfriend, you are disgusted with him but you can’t hate him because he’s still being so nice.

Of course, he is at his best when he’s feeling extremes of different emotions. Like when he is sad from Lizzy breaking up with him and he cries in the shower and hits himself in the face over and over (pictured). Or when he finds out Stephen slept with Lizzy and goes in a blind rage to beat him up (then gets really concerned when he thinks he might have broke Stephen’s tooth).

Best Moment: Holding a pillow featuring his own face that he gave Lizzy as a gift, he proclaims, half jokingly, “I’m a psycho! I’M A PSYCHO!” then he laughs and cries a lot.

“Oh my god I don’t wanna go.”

22. Claire Fisher

Six Feet Under

Claire was an interesting character because she was the youngest in this family filled with interesting people and was therefore easier to identify with than the others (gender be damned). She was going through High School, then College/Art School, then different jobs, until finally leaving her family/home at the end of the series to pursue a job in New York.

While I never really did those things, obviously, the fact was that her character’s thoughts and actions were the easiest to relate with and throughout the series I definitely grew to adore this character and her story. In the final sequence of the show (possibly the best thing I’ve ever seen on television) we see she becomes a successful photographer and lives to be 101 years old.

Best Moment: During the final episode, she leaves her home behind and an amazing montage featuring Sia’s song ‘Breath me’ gives us a fantastic final six minutes of the program.

“Oh for fucks sakes! Why would your sister bury you?”

21. Andy Millman

Extras

Ricky Gervais plays a more likable character in this show than he ever did on The Office, and it pays off. We still get a lot of the awkward humor he’s known for, but without hating him (for the most part). Throughout the series, you root for him to get success, to get what he wants, until you realize he doesn’t really seem to know what he wants. He wants to be famous, but wants to keep his integrity as an artist, but soon discards that notion to make a sitcom with wigs and catchphrases that he obviously despises. He seems to prefer being famous over being proud of his work.

That gets remedied somewhat in the christmas special, where he goes on Big Brother and delivers a heart felt speech to the cameras that instantly make you fall in love with him again. The series ends in a seemingly perfect way: he gets the fame and integrity he always wanted with that very speech, and instead of basking in it and embracing it, he leaves town with his friend Maggie to a place where no one knows who he is.

Best Moment: The very speech I mentioned above, where he is on Big Brother and delivers this speech not only to the houseguests and the world but to his friend Maggie who he apologizes to for being an ass to.

“Have Mercy! Watch the hair! Elvis!”

20. Jesse Katsopolis

Full House

Uncle Jesse is so awesome. I defy you to find a clip from Full House where he isn’t being awesome/hilarious.

Best Moment: His music video for ‘Forever’ which is so epic I can’t describe it properly. Just watch it.

“Is it an orgasm friend?”

19. Anya Jenkins

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anya was originally introduced as a one-off demon for the episode ‘The Wish’ but eventually returned to allow Vamp Willow to interact with the others, and from there became a pretty regular character.

The best part about Anya’s character is that she says exactly what’s on her mind. Since she’s a super old demon that isn’t privy to society’s ‘rules’ she just says things and it often makes others quite uncomfortable. It’s the best when she talks to Giles, because he always reacts the best way to all the things she says. Also the running joke of her being afraid of bunnies is always good for some laughs.

Best Moment: It’s really subtle, and I never noticed it until recently, but in the musical episode after her song with Xander they are talking to Giles on the street. Giles expresses his sadness regarding helping Buffy, and to comfort him, Anya gently pats him, straight armed, and very softly. It’s hard to spot because the scene cuts away quickly after too, but watch for it next time because it’s hilarious.

“I had the perfect life. Until I was in a coma for six years.”

18. Johnny Smith

The Dead Zone

Who would have thought the nerdy kid from Breakfast Club would grow up to be so awesome?

In reality, this character isn’t super interesting, as far as backstory and development and things like that. But the way he plays this lonely psychic with a cane is just insanely likeable and fun to watch. I’ve watched four seasons and they’re still doing self contained stories for the most part without too many season long arcs or whatnot, which suits the format well.

Best Moment: It’s hard to pin down a single moment for this character, as he’s pretty static throughout the series. But anytime he breaks the solemn, weary looking psychic facade and actually jokes around with someone it’s usually pretty awesome.

“I did do the nasty in the past-y.”

17. Philip J. Fry

Futurama

As a person living in the 1990’s suddenly finding himself in the year 3000, Fry seems like a bit of a dolt. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a pretty stupid guy, but a lot of the things that make him seem stupid are simply because he’s from a different time. It’s because of this that he becomes a large source for the humor on this show, and while I was debating on whether or not I’d put the Professor on this list over Fry, I figured Fry is definitely my favorite character on the show.

Best Moment: Going around the table explaining each character’s ‘quirk’ and then the professor says ‘And Fry, you’ve got that brain thing!’ to which Fry replies ‘I already did!’

“My ass is not pansy.”

16. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel

While this character was originally introduced as an antagonist to the gang, and a reflection on Giles himself and how much he has changed, the character began a much better journey when he joined the cast of the Buffy spin-off Angel.

He comes on the show as a ‘Rogue Demon Hunter’ and has similar nerdy/wimpy qualities that he had throughout Buffy. But as the seasons progress, and the show becomes more and more dark (and awesome), Wesley evolves into a completely different character who quickly became one of my favorites from the show. He was probably one of the most tragic characters on the show (which is saying a lot, man those characters all had it rough) but he still maintained a good composure and rarely slipped from being an intelligent man with a big heart. I love him.

Best Moment: In the brilliant episode “Smile Time” when Wesley violently kills a large, grimace-type puppet with his own nose/horn.

“That’s what she said.”

15. Michael Scott

The Office

Michael Scott is the kind of character you love to hate, but not in the sense that he’s a jerk, or mean spirited, just that he’s so unintelligent and oblivious. He says such stupid things but he doesn’t even realize they’re stupid, even when people point it out to him.

There’s a certain amount of charm to the character that shows up rarely, but it brings the human side out in this caricature and makes you kind of love him. Of course, this usually follows by him doing something completely off the wall and creepy that makes you hate him again, but none the less, he does have his moments. And that’s what keeps him from becoming completely unlikable.

Best Moment: Any time he shows an insane amount of contempt towards the HR rep Toby.

“You’re orange, you moron.”

14. Dr. Gregory House

House, M.D.

House is an asshole. But smart. That’s why people love him. I’m no different.

The show is enjoyable. That is all.

Best Moment: In order to prove God doesn’t exist, House electrocutes himself to see if there is anything in his half dead state other than darkness.

“Well the jerk store called, they’re runnin’ out of you!”

13. George Louis Costanza

Seinfeld

Seinfeld is the only television program with a laugh track that I actually find to be brilliant. There are others I enjoy, but laugh tracks generally ruin them. This is probably the show that I can watch and completely ignore the fact that there is canned laughter in the background, because it’s just so wonderfully done.

George is by far the best character on the show. Kramer is funny for a while, but eventually him being zany and falling down and making weird sounds gets old. Jerry is only great because he’s such a bad actor and breaks character often to smirk at other people’s jokes (or his own – see “But I don’t wanna be a cowboy!”). Elaine is the funniest when she fights with George.

George Costanza is such a terrible human being, and says such stupid things, and makes so many things hard for himself and others, and the best part is he’s based on a real person. The majority of the things he does on the show are based on real events Larry David did in real life. And while most people on the show hate him (rightly so), I can’t help but find him endearing.

Best Moment: Running out of the bathroom, pants still down, shouting ‘Vandelay Industries! Say Vandelay Industries!’

“Hey, Batdad. I didn’t hear no bell.”

12. Randy Marsh

South Park

I hated, hated South Park when it first started. It was just a bunch of crass humor that inevitably corrupted my little brother when he was impressionable (Long story short: he wrote a short story about a farmer having sex with a pig after the ‘elephant makes love to a pig’ episode and our parents got a call home). Returning to the show later on however, I started to see the intelligence behind it. Although I still think the first few seasons are stupid, everything from season 4 on has been pretty brilliant. And hilarious.

But the best part of the show isn’t the kids, mostly because they usually serve as the ’straight man’ to everyone else in town (except Cartman obviously). Stan’s dad Randy quickly became my favorite as I watched more and more of the show, and he has remained that way since. I think the way he talks contributes greatly to my love for him, for example when shouting ‘I thought this was America!’ while being dragged away with his shirt off and pants down.

Best Moment: While his son is playing Carry on My Wayward Son on Guitar Hero, Randy comes in to impress them and plays the actual song (along with belting out the lyrics awesomely) only to find out the kids aren’t impressed because real guitar is lame.

“TELL ME WHERE THE BOMB IS!!!”

11. Jack Bauer

24

Jack Bauer is a fucking badass. If I could entrust one person with my safety it would be him. The show itself grows a bit redundant as it progresses, where basically Jack does something excessive to get the job done and they think he’s a traitor but it turns out he was right all along and in the end he is exonerated. But I think what makes it enjoyable is that Kiefer Sutherland plays Jack so…awesomely. With his coarse whisper voice that is terrifying and then suddenly a scream that is even more terrifying, and then some kind of display that tells you ‘I will jam this corkscrew into your jaw if you don’t talk’ without actually saying that…it’s all so…beautiful. It’s as if he makes torture an art. A very…scary art.

Best Moment: After the ‘big thing’ (spoilers omitted) at the end of season one, Jack returns in season two with a depression beard and doesn’t seem to have what it takes to continue at CTU. He then proceeds to chop off someone’s head with a hacksaw in order to get close to a lead. Awesome.

“Don’t tell me what I can’t do.”

10. John Locke

LOST

The thing about LOST is there’s so much going on and it’s hard to talk about the show without giving things away to those that haven’t seen it (and trust me, it’s worth not spoiling anything). Therefore I’m going to give a breakdown of the character of John Locke season by season:

Season 1 Locke is awesome. Mysterious, strong, and seems to have some communion with the Island.

Season 2 Locke is semi-awesome. He begins to lose faith in the Island and has some moments where he’s a bit of an idiot, but overall is still one of the best characters on the show, thanks to flashbacks of course.

Season 3 Locke is an ass. He does some really stupid shit and is a little annoying.

Season 4 Locke is awesome again. He seems to have his faith in the Island back and his communion with it once again. He does some bad ass stuff and makes Jack look like the Douche now, in my opinion.

Season 5 is set to air soon, and I predict he will be even more awesome. In short, I love Locke, though his highs and lows he is a great character.

Best Moment: His flashbacks are almost always incredibly depressing and such, but the most heartbreaking moment is when we learn how exactly he got in his wheelchair and his reaction to being placed in it for the first time.

“I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette.”

9. George Michael Bluth

Arrested Development

Before Michael Cera became ‘cute awkward teenager flavor of the month!’ he was freaking brilliant on this show and stood out right away to me. His comic timing is impeccable and practically everything he says or does is hilarious. I do think he has the whole ‘awkward teen’ thing down pretty well, but seriously dude, stop it. And do the fucking movie you jerk.

Best Moment: His girlfriend, Ann, breaks up with him, and he someone manages to emit the most hilarious ’sad devastation’ sound I’ve ever heard, and the scene quickly cuts away. It’s really funny.

“Brendon, try these leaves. They’re poison.”

8. Coach Mcguirk

Home Movies

As far as I know, Home Movies is one of the few animated shows (perhaps the only one) that is heavily improvised. The actors will run scenes together where they just have the basic outline for where the scene needs to go and they wing it from there. The payoff is hilarious because you can tell it isn’t scripted and that the actors are just inherently funny. Coach Mcguirk is a stand out for me because his monotonous delivery of most of his lines is usually pretty much the way I talk in real life. Also he is a terrible soccer coach. Actually he is terrible at any job he does really, from lifeguard to Renaissance Fair Blacksmith.

Best Moment: In driving class, he is miming driving a car and initially hates it, but eventually he starts dramatizing it and pretends the brakes are out. He then crashes into a gas station and makes the sound effects for the ensuing explosion, also adding ‘HUGE PLUME MUSHROOM CLOUD’ at the end.

“Ever seen a guy say goodbye to a shoe?”

7. Hank Scorpio

The Simpsons

Yes, I truly believe that this single-episode-appearance character is better than any other character on The Simpsons. I defy you to disagree. For one thing, he didn’t have the chance to become stupid and Flanderized like the main characters have, and for another thing, I’m pretty sure everything he says in the episode he’s in (“You Only Move Twice”) is hilarious. Not just funny but hilarious. He keeps sugar in his pockets and cream in god knows where, he participates in fun runs and delivers fruit baskets to new employees at the same time, and operates a very evil corporation while being the best boss you could ask for. I love Hank Scorpio so, so much.

Best Moment: When he asks Homer to hang up his coat, then proclaims they don’t believe in coat racks, he quickly adds ‘In fact, I didn’t even give you my coat!’ Homer looks down and looks back up to see Scorpio grinning madly with his coat on backwards and it’s pretty much the greatest sight gag ever.

“Will girls ever like us?”

6. Sam Weir

Freaks & Geeks

Honestly if I didn’t limit myself to one character per show (two if need be…) most of the characters on here would be people from Freaks & Geeks and Buffy. Freaks and Geeks is such a perfectly done show that it should never have been cancelled. But at the same time, I’m partly glad it did because it had no chance of degrading in quality and stands as a testament to great television.

From the pilot episode Sam Weir had me. I think the biggest reason behind this is that I was Sam Weir in school. I was the awkward geek that didn’t know anything about girls and tried to just make it through school alive. I took solace in my other geeky friends and held the things in popular culture that I loved in such a high regard. The scene in the Pilot where he asks Cindy Sanders out is, I swear, taken directly from my real life. And it’s acted so brilliantly by John Francis Daley. The show itself is brilliant, but it was Sam that affected me personally the most.

Best Moment: After finding out his friend Neil’s dad cheated on Neil’s mom and bought him an Atari out of guilt, Sam gets home to find that his dad bought him an Atari cause he was ‘a good kid.’ Sam breaks down in tears and hugs his dad…and it’s heartbreaking.

“If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.”

5. Capt. Malcolm Reynolds

Firefly

Some people call Malcolm Reynolds as the ‘Han Solo’ of our time. I disagree. Han Solo is a giant pile of triceratops shit that just killed your father and raped your mother compared to Mal. I think the reason I like him so much is that he’s much more of a ‘little speck’ in the grand sceme of things than most characters. Basically he’s on the losing side of a war and is the last person in the world you think might make a difference. But throughout the series as well as the movie Serenity, he does a whole heck of a lot, simply because it’s the right thing to do.

Apologies to Han Solo fans. And your parents I suppose.

Best Moment: After a sword duel with an arrogant douche bag, he nobly proclaims that “Mercy is the sign of a great man,” and then stabs him in the gut, saying “I guess I’m just a good man.” THEN after one more stab he says “Well, I’m alright.”

“I am aware of the reality of death. I work with it every day.”

4. David Fisher

Six Feet Under

David is perhaps one of the most likeable characters I’ve ever seen on TV. He is also the first character I’ve seen that is believably gay. He is the antithesis of Jack-from-Will-and-Grace where if you’re on TV and you’re gay you have to be SUPER gay! It’s less of a gimmick and simply another aspect of his character. He’s generally the smartest member of the Fisher family as well, giving advice to everyone else often, but he does have demons of his own and goes through a lot of emotional rollercoasters (as does everyone on the show). He’s the kind of person I strive to be like, although minus the gay part.

Not that there’s anything wrong with thaUH OH SOMEONE HIT THE SEINFELD SWITCH

Best Moment: The entirety of the fourth season episode “That’s My Dog” where David goes through a huge ordeal involving a mugger. It’s brilliantly done and expertly acted by Michael C. Hall.

“We’re the good guys Michael.”

3. Benjamin Linus

LOST

This character immediately had me intrigued when he showed up around the middle of season two, and he was originally going to be in three episodes I believe. The actor impressed the creators so much that they wrote new stuff for him, and eventually made him one of the central characters for the show’s mythos. The character is so freaking awesome that if the show ever has an awful episode he will most definitely make up for it by simply being in it. Also the more we learn about his past and the secrets he has, the better he becomes.

Best Moment: I’m sure he has many more to come, but the part that makes me laugh the most is when he is walking back to the house in New Otherton and smiling happily to Hurley and Sawyer, carrying laundry. When asked what he’s doing out (he was in captivity earlier) he proclaims proudly, “See you guys at dinner!” Awesome.

“Geoffrey, break out Lucille.”

2. Philip Banks

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Uncle Phil is almost always the comic foible to Will Smith’s wacky shenanigans. But he also has a lot of depth to his character (for a sitcom at least). Lots of Fresh Prince episodes end with him delivering some kind of ‘think about it’ deep message, which is always noted because instead of laughter-clapter when the credits roll, it’s simply clapter. But he’s also a pretty funny character and gets lots of good lines in, usually having to do with food. Oh and did I mention the actor (James Avery) voices SHREDDER from fucking NINJA TURTLES? Cause he does.

Best Moment: When he hustles the guys at the pool hall, tells Geoffrey to break out Lucille, then continues to beat them whilst eating donuts.

“Please leave my home now.”

1. Rupert Giles

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Now, this character started out as a bit of a nerdy authority figure to the kids of Sunnydale High. But it quickly became obvious that he was much more than that. He was the inherent father figure in Buffy’s life, and grew to love her perhaps more than a father could. He is very intelligent and is generally the source of exposition and reveals about whatever supernatural force they happen to be combating at the time. Through all this he still has probably the best lines in the series and almost everything he says is either awesome or hilarious (two words I don’t use lightly. Don’t scroll up to see if I’m lying).

I think he is the only character on the show that didn’t become annoying at some point. Even in the terrible final season, he was the shining light (although still remarkably less cool). Most of my favorite moments in the series have to do with him, from his song(s) in the musical episode, to the great entrance at the end of season 6 where he is able to stop evil Willow (albeit briefly). I really wish they could have made the rumored spinoff focused on him happen, I would have been one happy man.

And to top it all off, he’s delightfully British!

Best Moment: Anthony Stewart Head has an amazing singing voice, evidenced not only in the musical episode (and the brief singing stints in two earlier episodes) but also in his album that is pretty awesome. The greatest moment in the Buffy musical is his song ‘Standing’ and the subsequent duet with Tara (Amber Benson) shortly after. It is glorious.